I was thinking about my views on myself having sex. I ever since I lost my virginity when I was 16, I have slept with 10 women. I was thinking about that number and breaking into the double digits once used to be an achievement, but now, I feel so disgusted by it. What makes it worse is that it's something that you can not erase. Time machines do not exists for me to turn back time and change a few things, I don't think I would anyway. It's come to that time where you realise what you have done and just have to deal with it.
I've abused my body all my life through drugs, binge drinking, junk food and random hook ups. Now I'm taking a stand, saying enough is enough! So I've decided to start respecting my body. I've cut out junk food and am committed to my gym. And as of last night, I'm committing myself to waiting till I'm married to have sex and everything else except kissing. This is going to be extremely hard for me. I've made this commitment before but for reasons other than myself. This time I'm not doing it to please anyone else but me. And it scares me. Many times this year I've had to say goodbye to massive parts of my life; my best friend Ryan, Nikki, my over weight body and now sex. I'm a better person for it. I look in the mirror and am starting to become proud of what I see, by waiting till I'm married to have sex will help me on my journey to become proud of the man I am becoming.
No comments:
Post a Comment